On the Ice: Fujiwara no Mokou and Kaguya Houraisan
by Wolfsbane706
Summary: Kaguya schemes frequently, but her schemes rarely pan out. This attempt to get Mokou to teach her to ice skate during a Christmas truce is no different, but for one reason only: Mokou can't ice skate. Oneshot. Part of the "On the Ice" series.


"_Uwah!_" When Fujiwara no Mokou bolted upright in what amounted to a bed in her rundown little shack, the first thing she noticed was the thick white clouds her heavy breaths were coming out in. The second thing she noticed was how absolutely_ freezing_ it was in said shack. The third thing she noticed was that her body was_ completely bare_, something she noticed because instead of just the extremities, she felt the cold all over her body.

While her home may not have had any insulation (being a shack), was it_ really_ that cold outside? Mokou's teeth started chattering and she hugged herself not out of any long-since-forgotten sense of modesty, but in a desperate attempt to keep warm. She had no intention of freezing to death twice in one day, much less inside her own home.

While some small part of her mind chastised herself over not doing any cold training during her unnaturally-extended life, Mokou knew from experience that her resistances reset every time she died. Try though she might to get used to the freezing Gensokyo winters, every time she and Kaguya killed each other would just lead to Mokou feeling the cold full-force the next time she resurrected.

As she hunted down a blanket, a coat,_ anything_ to help keep warm, Mokou recalled the first time she'd frozen to death that evening. She'd been hit in the back of the head by someone wielding a frying pan, knocked out, and left in the snowfall while the weather worsened. Now that she thought about it, though, it seemed a little_ embarrassing_ to have died that way. It was even more embarrassing when she realized that someone had carried her back to her shack.

Imagine her rage when that person came back and was revealed to be none other than Kaguya Houraisan, Mokou's mortal enemy for all eternity.

Something was off, though, and that something was the only thing that kept Mokou from flying into a blind rage and burning her shack down with Kaguya in it. Kaguya was holding, in her hands, two pairs of what looked like ice skates. While Mokou was familiar with ice skating, she'd never actually worn a pair of ice skates, much less been ice skating.

Although Kaguya kept silent, Mokou still fumed. And shook. And rubbed her arms. Just like Kaguya, she opted not to say anything, although probably for a different reason: her chattering teeth would make her stutter, and Mokou did_ not_ like to stutter.

After about a minute of silence, Kaguya finally rolled her eyes. "Look, I know you're probably mad at me, but at least put something on before you freeze. Again." She tossed one pair of skates down onto the floor, set the other on Mokou's lap (enduring much furious glaring), took off her outer robe, and wrapped it around Mokou. "I don't normally do this, but it's almost Christmas, and that means Truce."

As Mokou wrapped Kaguya's robe over her body and as warmth returned to her body, she deliberated over what Kaguya had said. _Truce . . . . _she thought softly. _About a hundred years ago, Kaguya decided that the month of December would be our "Truce Month". One month of not killing each other. Recently, she's "expanded" it to helping me out if I'm close to death, like just now. And now that I think about it,_ "What's with the ice skates?!" She almost screamed her question, surprising Kaguya out of her own thoughtful trance. Mokou's voice was still a little shaky, just like her breathing, but at least she wasn't stuttering.

"It's part of our Truce. You're going to teach me how to ice skate." Typical Kaguya, jumping the gun and assuming Mokou would go along with it despite not actually knowing how to skate.

"Why me? I mean, forgetting that I've actually never been ice skating, why me?"

Kaguya faltered for a moment then rubbed the back of her head. "It was Reisen's idea. She said that if I wanted to 'mend our relationship' that I should take you to do something romantic. First thing to come to mind was, well, ice skating." Kaguya leaned back against the "doorway" to Mokou's shack and crossed her arms. "Quite frankly, I'm beginning to regret that idea. Now get dressed before I take my robe back and go home."

Mokou blushed in anger but kept her mouth shut, opting to look for her usual suspenders, pants, and shirt. "I assume you're the one who carried me home, so where are my clothes?" she asked after a moment of searching.

"Frozen solid by now, probably. I suppose if you don't have anything else, I'll take you to get something. Eirin's actually a pretty good seamstress." She pushed herself off of the wall and collected the pair of skates she'd tossed onto the floor. "If you're worried about shoes, just wear the skates. Shouldn't be too hard to walk in them." Mokou's expression of anger had turned into one of surprise, by this point, mostly because Kaguya was actually being_ a lot_ nicer than usual.

"You really think I'm gonna follow you to Eientei in knee-deep snow?" she asked incredulously. "You're_ nuts_! What's gonna stop you from stealing your robe back once we're in some desolate clearing? If I'm gonna freeze, it's gonna be on my own terms!"

Kaguya just brought her free mitten-covered hand to her face and sighed in exasperation. "The fact that you're even saying that is just . . . . Anyway, if you're unwilling to go, I'll just let you freeze and take your corpse." Mokou flinched upon hearing that comment. As much as she was used to dying, it admittedly scared her to resurrect in a location that wasn't where she died. After all, if someone moved her corpse, it was likely that person would be waiting to kill her again.

"Fine." Mokou said, getting up off of her "bed" and picking up the skates that Kaguya had left on her lap. "I'll come. Lead the way."

Kaguya grinned mischievously. "Of course." was all she said before exiting Mokou's shack and heading for Eientei.

* * *

When Kaguya arrived at Eientei, Mokou wasn't far behind. "Not far" as in about 50 feet behind, so as to easily spot any potential treachery. When the Lunar princess looked at the front porch, she noticed Reisen sitting there in much the same condition Mokou had been in when Kaguya had given the phoenix girl her robe: naked, shivering, and, unlike the phoenix girl, sniffling. "So I take it Eirin has you out here for another cure?" Kaguya asked of the half-frozen rabbit.

The only response was a nod and a sneeze, but Kaguya got the message.

"She must really be bored if she's got you trying to catch a cold."

Reisen's only response again was just a nod and a sneeze.

"I mean, there are_ so_ many variations, it might be impossible for Eirin to make one that cures_ all_ of them, so you'll probably be out here for days."

The look on Reisen's face quickly turned from miserable to horrified while Kaguya smiled on.

"Keep up the good work," she teased.

That was the last straw for Reisen, who quickly bolted inside, probably to dive under the nearest set of blankets.

"Princess," called Eirin's voice as Mokou caught up. "Would you kindly_ not_ terrify my assistant like that? It took three days to convince her to do that, and now it's going to take three additional days just to pry her from beneath her covers."

"It's just good fun," Kaguya countered as she led Mokou into the clinic. "Besides, watching Mokou and I try and skate should cure your boredom."

Eirin eyed Mokou suspiciously. "Why is the Phoenix in my clinic?" she asked of Kaguya.

"She's going to teach me how to ice skate," Kaguya said matter-of-factly, taking a seat in a spare rotating chair floating around Eirin's office. "Or at least, that was the plan. Turns out, she can't skate, same as me." Kaguya gripped the sides of the chair with her mittened hands and spun. "Still, after some 'convincing', she's agreed to skate with me anyway." Kaguya stopped spinning long enough to watch Mokou blush a deep scarlet before standing up to stretch.

Eirin turned back to her desk. "Very well," she conceded. "But any sign of trouble, and out she goes. I don't wish to rebuild the clinic. _Again_."

Kaguya nodded. "Alright, no trouble," she confirmed. "Come along, Mokou." Mokou grumbled softly about being ordered around like a common servant, but followed Kaguya to the Lunar princess' room. "First off, give me back my robe," said Kaguya as she started to sift through her closet.

"What, why?!" exclaimed Mokou.

Kaguya sighed, pulled out a plastic baseball bat and thwacked Mokou over the head. "Calm down, phoenix girl," she scolded. "You're not going to be naked for very long." She pulled out a soft red jacket and a pair of snow pants. "In fact, consider these Christmas gifts_ if_ you behave!"

Mokou's panicked expression softened into a gentle scowl while she slowly took off Kaguya's robe. "Do you have anything warmer?" she asked softly. "I don't, I don't like the cold . . . ."

Kaguya, in a not-so-rare stroke of kindness considering the time of year, gently placed the coat around Mokou's shoulders, only for the phoenix immortal to quickly slip her arms through the sleeves before the Lunar princess could let go of it. "Still cold?" she asked while Mokou rubbed her arms and nodded in response. "Next are the pants, then the skates."

"Shouldn't I have socks on under the skates, though?" Mokou asked. "I mean, that's what I do with normal shoes."

"Well, yes," Kaguya responded. "Common sense dictates, after all." She held up an accusing finger before Mokou could say anything. "And if you quote the Green-White, so help me, I'll thwack you again!"

Mokou couldn't help but break into a giggling fit at Kaguya's desire to avoid quotes from the not-wholly-sane Moriya Shrine Maiden "You don't have to worry about that," she said after her giggling fit was done. "I've never met her."

"Good," was all Kaguya said. "Now finish getting dressed and I'll meet you at the pond in the middle of the complex." She slipped out as Mokou nodded and started putting the clothes on. _I have to admit, those violet locks look, well, pretty with frost in them, _Kaguya mused as she watched Mokou dress.

"You know, she's gonna burn the whole friggin' place down in embarrassment if she catches you peeping," a small alto voice interrupted Kaguya's musing and actually managed to startle the Lunatic Princess into nearly hitting the voice's owner: a one Tewi Inaba.

"Don't do that, you pesky rabbit!" Kaguya responded, none too quietly. Mokou had probably heard, but judging from the lack of commotion, the phoenix girl probably didn't care.

"Don't do what?" Tewi asked, the smirk on her face and in her eyes showing she already knew the answer to her question.

"Don't sneak up on me, that's what!"

"Oh, _that,_" Tewi intoned as if she was just learning it now. "Well, don't peep on your girlfriend, and I won't sneak up on you."

This time, Kaguya really _did _hit Tewi, and hard, too.

* * *

Mokou wobbled from side to side as she tried to stay upright on the skates. "You're sure about this?" she asked Kaguya, who was having much less of a hard time staying still.

"Yes, I'm sure," Kaguya sighed, shifting her weight from one skate to the other. "Look, worry once we're on the ice, not before."

"Okay," Mokou said, not without worry in her voice. With a gentle nudge from Kaguya, the phoenix girl stepped onto the ice and was a little surprised when she slid forward, slowly, without much effort. Still wobbling, Mokou didn't make it very far before her skates slid out from under her and she fell flat on her butt. "Ow!"

Kaguya followed Mokou onto the ice, albeit without too much more in the way of luck. "Hey, get up!" she teased. "_You're _supposed to be teaching _me _how to ice skate, not the other way around." The lunar princess smirked softly as Mokou struggled to get back to her feet.

"Oh, shut up!" she snapped, fixing the borrowed earmuffs so the headband wasn't in her eyes. She also checked the mittens Kaguya had loaned her, making sure they hadn't come loose. She'd probably have to fix the earmuffs each time she fell, but the mittens would probably be fine. Speaking of falling, standing still seemed to prevent that, though it didn't stop Mokou's skates from wobbling.

Unfortunately for Mokou, Kaguya had other ideas than just "standing still so she wouldn't fall". With another gentle push from Kaguya, Mokou found herself moving again, but instead of panicking, she laughed when she heard Kaguya scramble to keep her balance and fail, only to follow suit immediately after. "This is tougher than any Danmaku battle," she said, turning to face Kaguya. She tried getting up, but her skates wouldn't stay put long enough and she found herself flat on her chest.

"I suppose you can say that," Kaguya said as she also tried to get up and failed. "Why don't we just sit here for a while, then, since it's so difficult getting back up?"

Mokou sighed. "I thought the idea here was to learn how to skate without falling?"

"Oh hush!" retorted Kaguya. "There's a few questions I want to ask, and sitting here on the ice away from prying ears seems the best place to do so."

"I guess," Mokou said in defeat. "Well, ask away before we freeze out here." She collected her arms and legs into a tight huddle, already trembling slightly.

"Actually, that goes along with the first question I want to ask you," Kaguya mentioned, crawling around to Mokou's back on her hands and knees. The phoenix girl tensed, but relaxed when all Kaguya did was run play with Mokou's hair. "What's it like, freezing to death?"

Mokou would have jumped in surprise, had she been able to. Instead, she just flinched. "What kind of question is that?!" she asked loudly enough to cause Eirin to pop her head into view to find out what the ruckus was about.

"It's a perfectly valid question!" Kaguya countered as she briefly stopped playing with Mokou's hair. "We're both immortal, but our death experiences are, well, vastly different. Don't you agree?"

"I guess," Mokou admitted. "But really, what kind of question is 'what's it like to freeze to death'?"

"It's one born out of curiosity, that's what kind of question it is," Kaguya countered. "Please answer?" she added sweetly and resumed playing with Mokou's hair.

"It's . . peaceful," Mokou said quietly. "I mean, yeah, it's really, _really _cold, but at the end, you hardly feel a thing, and you just wanna lay down and sleep. By the time you die, you don't even know that it's happened."

When Mokou didn't say anything else, Kaguya butted in. "Was that so hard?" she asked teasingly.

"Yes!" replied Mokou heatedly. "It feels wrong to talk about our deaths so casually, but we've been around for almost fifteen-hundred years. It's like there's nothing else to talk about."

"Well," Kaguya intoned, crawling around to Mokou's side. "Look on the bright side." She gave the phoenix girl a light nudge in the shoulder. "We'll never die of old age."

"That's about the _only _bright side," Mokou commented. Then she thought of something else. "Do you think if we die, we'll forget how to ice skate?"

"Well," Kaguya said uncertainly. "I'd have to ask Eirin, but since it's kind of a muscle memory thing, I'd say 'yes'. I really can't say for certain, though."

"Mm," Mokou acknowledged. "Let's skate some more, then." She pulled away from Kaguya and tried to shift onto her feet, Surprisingly, she actually managed to stand without falling, though like before, standing was about the extent of what she could do.

"You know," Kaguya said as she stood up. "Reisen once told me she used to be _really _good at ice skating." She latched onto Mokou so that if one of them fell, the other would too. "Maybe if we pamper her a lot, we can convince her to teach us?"

"Fat chance," Mokou said with a dry laugh. "After that stunt you pulled when we got here, I really don't think she'll even want to _talk _to us until next winter, much less agree to teach us how to ice skate." She moved Kaguya's hand so it was latched onto Mokou's own and they started to slide across the ice slowly. "I mean, yeah, that's not very long for the three of us, but still, a lot can happen in a year."

"Well, I did say she told me 'used to'," Kaguya corrected as they slid. "For all I know, these days, she's just like us: she can't skate at all." She tried to make a turn, but her skates had other ideas. One went one way while Kaguya and the other skate went another direction. She latched tightly onto Mokou's arm in hopes that she could pull herself back up, but Mokou, unprepared for Kaguya's weight pulling her down, simply fell down with her.

"Can we go back inside yet?" Mokou asked, her back flat against the ice. "I'm tired of falling."

"Let's just lay here for a few minutes," Kaguya replied. "The stars look beautiful tonight." She stayed latched onto Mokou's hand, and when she felt the cold of the ice start seeping through her clothes, she slid a little closer and huddled up to the phoenix girl. Mokou flinched, but didn't make any effort to move away from Kaguya.

"Do you think Eirin would let me stay here?" she asked quietly.

"What do you mean?

"Do you think Eirin would let me live here for the winter?" She gave a dry laugh. "I mean, you've seen my 'home', if it can even be called that. I'm surprised I don't freeze to death every night."

"Well," Kaguya began slowly. "While you do have a reputation for trying to kill me at any given opportunity, I'm sure that if you signed a contract with Eirin agreeing not to do anything violent, if you begged, and if you paid her enough, she would let you live here for the winter, but not a day longer."

"I don't like the idea of having to beg," Mokou commented. "But I guess if it gets me a warm place to live, I'll do it."

Kaguya stood up. "Alright, then," she said with a smile, holding out her hand for Mokou to pull herself up (or Kaguya down, whichever happened first). "Let's go."


End file.
